Hi, How Ya Doin :)

Hi, How Ya Doin:)

It’s been a while but I hope you’re doing well. There have been a lot of things happening on my end just the past year; a lot of growth but also some losses.

Throughout this journey of adulthood, I realized that no matter how much you love someone they have the choice to leave your side- and there won’t be anything you can do about it except to accept the way things are and carry on. All you have is yourself.

I’ve been experiencing that a lot with the friendships I made this past year- and let me tell you first Boys are Stupid! Gosh, you really can’t keep a genuine friendship with someone without them getting butt hurt that you don’t want any relationship. I’m not complaining, but ya know #firstworldproblems.

Anyways before I start ranting, my point in coming back onto this blog was to really emphasize the importance of self love. I feel like I tried to implement self love last year but it turned into a mess because apparently boys wanted me to feel guilty about doing my own thing (sorry, promise last time ranting).

Alas, I’m going to recreate 2019 and make it the year to re-establish not only myself, but to help other people really find who they are as an individual – not who they are with their friends, not who they are with their family, not who they are with their significant other.

Who are you?

Are you comfortable looking in the mirror at your stripped down, most vulnerable self?

I’m in the process of writing a book about the definition of love, and it’s not the facade that media has painted and has made us fixated on a very superficial meaning of love. If you’re interested (my small amount of followers that I love so much LOL), please message me to be part of the book – it’ll be just a couple interview questions that I think are important to discuss.

Well good night – I’m signing off and hopefully I’ll be back on again soon with another life update 🙂

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Valentine’s Day-Love is NOT Just For Couples…

Valentine’s Day Love is NOT Just For Couples by Catherine Osborne creates a new perspective of Valentine’s Day; it can be celebrated even if you are bitter about happy couples and/or if you’re single. Osborne says it’s true that Valentine’s Day is a day where a lot of flowers and chocolates are bought for loved ones, but Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be just for couples because there are more people to love than just your significant other.

“What about a perspective change?  What if we were to adopt the idea that Valentines Day is not just for couples, but for everybody?  While your friends might be buying flowers for their partners, consider the people in your world that you love, and that love you back.”

This article reminds me of my mother, because she never really celebrated Valentine’s Day after she got divorced from my dad. I remembered coming home from school on Valentine’s Day and I saw balloons and a card from my mom. Even when she was still with my dad, she made Valentine’s Day a family event because she thought it would be selfish not to. For her, family is number one and she doesn’t let any man get in the way of it because she loves us so much.

Hopefully this article helps out anyone who might not be going on a date for Valentine’s Day, because there are many other ways to find happiness and love this day by just hanging out with friends and family.<3

http://www.upshiftcoaching.com/articles/9_valentines-day-love-is-not-just-for-couples.html

My mom and dad back in the old days :)
My mom and dad back in the old days 🙂

Second Response Post: “I love my girlfriend, but my god. She always talks about her ex…” “I know my boyfriend loves me but I also know he’s attracted to other girls and finds them prettier than me…”

Ok the second time around, I got a bunch of weird questions and I think people are trying to mess with me or something LOL but I also got legit questions. Here are the two best questions I received 🙂

Male 2: “I love my girlfriend, but my god. She always talks about her ex. Even though it’s in a negative light and I understand that she’s just telling me her fears for our relationship and why she is the way she is (I appreciate that she confides in me and I’m happy to try and help/reassure her), she’s beyond hung up of him. She talks about him for hours and hours and while I usually don’t mind, I’m starting to become a little resentful. Thanks for any advice if you have it!”

Dana: I think the relationship that she had with her ex is probably different from your relationship with her, so I think you should just reassure her that you will look out for her and that you have her back. It’s a good thing that she trusts you so much with her emotions and stuff, but if it ends up being she talks about her past relationship so much that it gets in the way of what you have with her right now, you should definitely talk to her about it. I think that would help her too, it’ll make her start to see that she needs to enjoy more of her time with who she has now and not get caught up in what happened to her in the past. It takes time of course if her past relationship was super bad, but baby steps baby steps.

James: You should tell her how it makes you feel when she always talks about him. She probably doesn’t notice that it bothers you when she talks about it. She can’t fully enjoy your relationship if her mind is in the past thinking about him.  She also can’t read your mind, you need to bring it up in a way that is non confrontational and be honest about your feelings. Everyone’s had bad relationships in the past, but always thinking about them prevents us from enjoying the one’s we currently have. Hope this helped and good luck!

Female 2: “I know my boyfriend loves me but I also know he’s attracted to other girls and finds them prettier than me. I know that at the end of the day I’m still the girl he wants to be with but how am I supposed to ignore his attraction to other girls? Should it bother me this much?”

Dana: My question to you is how do you know that he finds other girls attractive and did he tell you straightforward that these other girls are prettier than you? For me, I hope he didn’t flat out say that other girls are prettier because I don’t think that’s really respectful. I mean, he doesn’t have to give you complements like you’re the prettiest girl in the whole wide world and stuff, but he should at least respect you and keep his mouth shut about his opinion of other girls, because that would make you jealous of course. Besides that, I mean if you just feel like he is attracted to other girls than maybe ask him about it. If he’s with you, you should feel comfortable asking and talking it over. Relationships are all about trust, it shouldn’t really matter if he finds other girls attractive as long as he is faithful to you, respects you, and truly loves you the most. Just trust and faith is key. I hope this helps 🙂

James: You should talk to him about it, don’t start off super confrontational, because that will make him get defensive. Also don’t confuse thinking someone’s hot as actually meaning anything all the time. I think Mila Kunis is hot but Dana’s not going to get mad and yell at me for that (side note: everyone thinks she’s hot). If you know he loves you then you shouldn’t be too worried but you should confront him over this and talk it out. It’s normal to feel bothered that your significant other is attracted to other people but you need to think of it in context. If it’s checking out random girls in yoga pants who walk by that mean nothing, that’s pretty common.

Once again, thanks for submitting your questions!

First Response Post: “How long should it take to say “I love you?” “I’m dating someone, and I love them a lot. But lately, I’ve felt very attracted to someone else too. Help!”

Yay I’m so excited that this is our first post I was waiting for this day to come! Now your questions will be answered:) Here we go!

Female 1:  How long should it take to say “I love you?

Dana: I think it really depends on how you’re feeling because there’s no correct time to say it; go at your own speed. Don’t ever feel rushed to say it though, because love is a special thing. If you say “I love you” and don’t really mean it, I think it’s just a waste of your breath.

James: Honestly wait a few months, because there’s a very big difference between just liking someone and loving them. Love is something where you can look back on past relationships and say to yourself this is the real thing. But really you should say it when you feel it, when you can’t picture not being with someone that’s when you tell them you love them.

Male 1: “I’m dating someone, and I love them a lot. But lately, I’ve felt very attracted to someone else too. Help!”

Dana: Are you guys dating like you guys just met each other or have you been in a relationship with this person? If you consider yourself single, then I would say you’re allowed to meet other people and just get to know them. However, if you’re in a relationship that’s a different story. You love your girl, don’t forget that, so I don’t think just because you’re attracted to some other girl you should leave the one that you love behind. I’m not a guy, but I think you should enjoy your time with who you have now and don’t pay attention to any other girls. Your girl probably loves you just as much as you love her, if not more, so respect that and have good quality time with her.

James: Don’t ruin a good thing! There’s no point in ruining a great relationship just cause you find a girl who isn’t your girlfriend attractive. Also there’s no guarantee this other girl will reciprocate your feelings. Try limiting your contact with this person, you shouldn’t be talking to another girl and saying goodnight to her like you do your girlfriend. If this doesn’t help try talking to your girlfriend and being honest about it, I’m sure you two will be able to work through this. Don’t Cheat under any circumstances, emotional cheating can be just as bad as physical cheating i.e. (talking to her and confiding in her like she’s you girlfriend). You need to remember why you’re with your current girlfriend, there’s obviously a reason why you asked her to be yours.

I hope the advice helped we tried giving really good answers for this one. I just happened to realize that my boyfriend gives good advice so that’s a plus. We’re going to be answering questions every week so send in more questions with the link below and thanks so much for reading:)

http://goo.gl/forms/aGVKXkIHKS

Just kidding we don't get coffee every Friday. I just wanted to go to a coffee house setting to answer these questions
 I just wanted to go to a coffee-house setting to answer these questions:)

I’m no love expert but…

I’m no love expert but I always feel like my friends and peers ask me questions related to their love life like…

is he out of my league?“,

does he think I’m ugly?

can you ask her if she likes me?

I feel good inside when I help people; it makes me smile from the inside out knowing that I made someone’s life a little bit brighter. However, helping someone deal with a bad break-up or getting the confidence to ask someone out is hard. It’s hard to help someone in that situation when all they do is feel pity for themselves and don’t actually make the effort to confide themselves in me. That’s why I wanted to have people send me their relationship questions anonymously so then they can be fully comfortable to let out what they’re truly feeling. My boyfriend isn’t some love expert either, hehe but I think it’s cute how he said he wanted to help me with this blog so I’m letting him answer questions with me. So it’s two for the price of one! When you ask a question, you’ll get advice with perspectives from a girl and a boy.

So here is the link at the bottom of this page, ask away!

http://goo.gl/forms/aGVKXkIHKS