Male: “How do I tell if a girl is in a relationship or not?” Female: “What do I do if my boyfriend is out of my league?”

Soooooo these are some cute questions we wanted to answer because they seem like everyday problems that lovers seem to face…So here we go!

Male: How do I tell if a girl is in a relationship or not?

Dana: Well I’m saying that you should just ask her because if you just spy on her or something like that, well you’re not going to go anywhere. Honesty is the best policy, so if you need to ask if she’s in a relationship or not so you could ask her on a date, then just go up and ask her. Just don’t be awkward, just ask the dang question.

James: Just ask her, thats the easiest way to find out. Or odds are if she has lots of pictures with a guy or has a guy in a profile picture; she is probably dating him.

FemaleWhat do I do if my boyfriend is out of my league?

Dana: Well, why do you think he is out of your league? If your boyfriend is making you feel inferior or saying that he can get someone better than you, I would say just break up with him because you don’t want to have to deal with someone who makes you feel unworthy.

James: If you’re dating someone then that means they aren’t out of your league. Get your confidence up, thats not a good attitude to have. Your significant other is with you for a reason, trust that.

Not All Relationships Are Romantic…

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I don’t know how much I have to tell her, but I miss her so much and I’m so scared what would happen if I ever see her again.

Right now I’m not thinking about the romantic boyfriend/girlfriend kind of relationship problems, but the friendship type. This has been bothering me so much lately and I just feel like senior year I have experienced so many lost friendships. I know it just may be because people drift apart whenever they lose interest in being friends with a person, but that’s not justifiable. I just think that real friends don’t drift apart. Some people that I’ve known throughout the years don’t even look at me when I smile at them or they look always agitated whenever I walk by. I mean, I haven’t done anything bad and I don’t smell, so it’s confusing to realize that the people you once got along with before suddenly turn on you and make you feel small. I get so scared.

I used to be really great friends with this one girl and everything was going fine until one day she told me that she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. I don’t know how people do that so easily, because when that happened I practically begged to earn my friendship back with her and I didn’t understand after everything we have been through together, she just decided to cut ties with me. It hurts; it’s been about a year and she still hasn’t given me any sign to be friends with me again and that hurts me the most.

I know that for me personally, I don’t dislike anyone yet I hate the eerie feeling of a friend that also treats you like an enemy. I guess I just like it when I don’t always have to be the one to come up and be friendly with friend I haven’t seen a while. Sometimes I’d like to know if that friend cares about me as well. But oh well friends aren’t everything, but all I’m saying is that high school friends are so confusing.

Love & Psychology

How do you fall in love? Yes it’s a very vague question and most people think it’s from gaining an attraction to someone’s personality or appearance and then you just “fall in love” with that person. However, I think that much of love has to do with psychology because our minds play with our emotions a lot and make us all feel some type of way towards certain people. I learned that love doesn’t come from our hearts, but rather our heads.

Love can be hard to determine even when psychologists explain the mechanism of love. A humanist would say that we need love because it’s what makes us become self actualized people and it’s what makes humans good. A psychoanalyst would say that we humans crave love and we have an uncontrollable desire for it. A behaviorist would say that we learn to love things with the continuous use of stimuli. Personally, it’s hard to even believe the logic that these psychologists used to explain love.

How did psychologists know that humans are inherently crazy for love and how did they know where love stems from? 

I might be well off going into a tangent, but as you can see love has a origin that is hard to describe and it is even more difficult to describe when people say they don’t love someone anymore. For example, I know a lot of people who have been through break-ups lately and it’s just weird seeing couples being so crazy about each other one day to not even talking to each other the next day.

How do you tell yourself that you do not love this person anymore?

Is it like an explosion in your brain made you realize you don’t even like this person or is it because your brain got bored of seeing this person and wanted to be stimulated by other people?

LOL I really don’t know what I’m going for with those questions and it’s difficult for me to explain my feelings when I feel like I’m in love with someone. Love is not just a universal feeling that everyone has; every individual has their own way of loving someone and so it is hard to determine because love is a feeling inside our minds.

What is love?

Sixth Response Post: “My boyfriend left me for another girl when i really loved him…”

 

Female 6: “My boyfriend left me for another girl when i really loved him and needed him. I treated him right but he still left me. I dont know what to do?”

Dana: If your boyfriend left you for whatever reason, just stay strong and don’t make it seem like the end of the world. We are young so there will be plenty of time for us to get to know more people and also to find ourselves. Sometimes boys don’t pay attention to the efforts that we girls put into relationships (This could be the same for girls as well, sometimes we can be oblivious too) but that’s okay because it’s their loss if they don’t pay attention. If you know that you put in your all and you know that you were a great girlfriend, there’s nothing to regret and there’s nothing that you should feel guilty for. If he leaves you when you needed him most, maybe it is time to let him go. Leave with dignity without any hard feelings because even though you may not even want to be friends with this boy anymore, at least remain on okay terms with him. Lastly, be careful in the next relationship you have because if there were qualities that you didn’t like in your ex, you can’t find those same qualities in someone new because the cycle repeats again and you’re probably going to be left .

James: My advice is you don’t worry about it, he obviously doesn’t deserve you; although it is cliche there are other fish in the sea. Focus on yourself, you shouldn’t need a boyfriend to be happy; you shouldn’t have to rely on anyone. But when you do have a boyfriend they should make you happy.

Interviewing the Love Expert

I decided to interview my mom because she claims to have been a love expert back in the old days, where they didn’t have Tinder and actually had to fall in love with people in person. She tells me stories about all of the middle school boys falling in love with her but she rejected all of them. I’m so proud of my mom! Anyways, I hope she gives good advice 🙂

Fifth Response Post: “How do I tell a guy I don’t like him, nicely? Is that even possible?” “where are some good places to go for first dates and how do you get rid of butterflies”

I hope that you enjoyed the video from last week and that we give you good answers this week!

Female 5: “How do I tell a guy I don’t like him, nicely? Is that even possible?”

Dana: Well telling a guy you don’t like him is never easy, but always remember to let him down gently because you don’t want this guy to hate you. You can tell him nicely by seeing him in person and sitting down and talk about it. Don’t make things such a big deal, because you’re probably going to freak the guy out. After telling the guy how you really feel, try to form a good friendship with him and be sure that you don’t make things awkward between you guys. Just be sweet and be happy with the friendship that you have with him, assuming that you guys are friends you know. If you hate this guy, then do whatever you want.

James: Just be honest with the other person, it’s better to tell him right away than to wait. He might see that as leading him on. Just tell him you like him as a friend. It’ll be kind of awkward for a little bit but that’ll pass  pretty quickly. Makes sure you talk about it in person and try not sounding too aggressive when you say it. Good luck!

Female 6: Where are some good places to go for first dates and how do you get rid of butterflies?

James: I’m date master aight. Don’t do movies for a first date unless you have something planned after that more social. The first date should be you two getting to know each other. Rock climbing, bowling, mini golf and the mall are great places to go. They all give you something to do and talk about while also generally divert awkward silences if there’s a lapse in conversation.

Dana: I always think the beach is a beautiful place to drive by and to walk around. Go there during the afternoon so you can go in the water and I don’t know, show off your bikini body lol. Then at night, you can hold hands and walk around the pier when the sun goes down. Oh for your first date I think you should go somewhere local. For me, it would be Bella Terra or the park. To get rid of butterflies before meeting the guy, you should just get ready and tell yourself that you look good and tell yourself to not make the date such a big deal. It’s just a date; it’s giving you an opportunity to know this guy more and to break the ice. Maybe talk about it with your friends and stuff before because they usually boost up your confidence and can give you some more personal advice. I hope this advice works and tell me how your first date went 🙂

My grandma and her man:) Old people love <3
My grandma and her man:) Old people love ❤

Fourth Response Post: “How do you get girls?” “What’s the best ways of getting to know someone you might be attracted too?”

Hi guys this is our fourth response post and I hope the advice we have given has helped thus far. Here are some questions that I think will help those who want to start dating someone and a video to go along with it, because honestly I really wanted to shoot a video 🙂

Male 4: “How do you get girls?”

Female 4: “What’s the best way of getting to know someone you might be attracted to?”

 

Being Attractive Can Mean So Many Things

It may not seem like it, but there are people in this world who have never had a relationship before and don’t understand why they’ve been single all of their lives. Most often than not, they think the reason why they’ve been single for so long is because they’re ugly or don’t have a good figure. However, I used my environment and found that most people don’t look for superficial things when it comes to finding attractiveness. It’s mostly the personality and etiquette. If you’re a bastard who likes to sit around and talk about himself all day yet you’re as attractive as Brad Pitt,  girls still won’t love you because you’re just a jerk with a pretty face. Here’s the link to the video of peoples’ responses, you might find some familiar faces 🙂 

Third Response Post: “Should I continue dating a boy that doesn’t seem to have a good future? I love him but having a good stable future and being able to have a good job is very important to me too” “So I’ve known this girl for about 6 years now and I’ve had an on and off crush on her ever since I met her. I tried to ask her out a couple years ago, but she just wanted to stay friends. Fast forward to the present, she’s become more outgoing and I’ve gotten even closer to her. Should I go for it again?”

Here’s the third response post for this week. I hope it helps you out, since it’s so close to Valentine’s Day 🙂

Female 3: “Should I continue dating a boy that doesn’t seem to have a good future? I love him but having a good stable future and being able to have a good job is very important to me too”

James: This is kind of a broad question. The short answer is no; if he’s a good boyfriend then there’s no point in breaking up with him over speculation. You also should have specified what a good future entails. Is he not going to a prestigious school? Does he not have a 4.0? Plenty of people have gone to UC’s/Prestigious schools and don’t do better than the average student. If you’re someone not in high school/college and he’s too lazy to find a job then give him an ultimatum. Also why can’t you be the bread winner in the relationship? You better be doing a lot more then him before you criticize his future. Maybe you  guys should break up if you don’t believe in him; a relationship is a partnership

Dana: What is your definition of a good future? This one’s hard for me to answer because I want to say that it shouldn’t matter how successful he will be in the future as long as he respects you and you both love each other. However, I’d also like to say that you can’t be financially supporting him entirely and he shouldn’t be financially supporting you entirely in the future as well. Both of you should be striving for the best for yourselves and not be so dependent  on each other. But again, what is your definition of having a good future? I mean, if he’s smoking and doing drugs then he would be a bad influence for you and you should consider getting him onto a better track and if that doesn’t work, call it quits. It may seem selfish, but you can’t let anyone influence you and risk having the hopes and dreams of you and your boyfriend to be destroyed. I hope that somewhat answered your question please reply in the comments!

Male 3 :”So I’ve known this girl for about 6 years now and I’ve had an on and off crush on her ever since I met her. I tried to ask her out a couple years ago, but she just wanted to stay friends. Fast forward to the present, she’s become more outgoing and I’ve gotten even closer to her. Should I go for it again?”

James: This may sound corny but YOLO it. What is their to lose? You’ll never know if you never try, girls like confidence in men. So ask her out! She’s already rejected you once so the worst that’ll happen is you two stay friends. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea. But if your opinion is “no I want that one” then go for it. Who knows whether or not if for the last year or two she’s been waiting for you to ask her out.

Dana: Six years has been a long time! If it’s been couple years since you asked her out, a lot of things probably changed since then. I think it’s cute how you liked her all this time, and she probably would be flattered to find out. For me, I wouldn’t go rush into things so quickly but rather give her some signs before actually asking out. Make sure that it wouldn’t risk losing a friendship, because I feel like being in a relationship can go many ways. You might find out that you love this person so much and can’t picture being with out them, or you learn new and secretive things about them but now it’s awkward for you to break up with them and return to the friend stage.

Please ask more questions! Kay thanks have a nice day:) https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1zAHjCPr5_defZyON7I1Qu7ahdbpxpQbJ_XN7YFkjZOU/viewform

Finally went to The Huntington:)
Finally went to The Huntington:)

Valentine’s Day-Love is NOT Just For Couples…

Valentine’s Day Love is NOT Just For Couples by Catherine Osborne creates a new perspective of Valentine’s Day; it can be celebrated even if you are bitter about happy couples and/or if you’re single. Osborne says it’s true that Valentine’s Day is a day where a lot of flowers and chocolates are bought for loved ones, but Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be just for couples because there are more people to love than just your significant other.

“What about a perspective change?  What if we were to adopt the idea that Valentines Day is not just for couples, but for everybody?  While your friends might be buying flowers for their partners, consider the people in your world that you love, and that love you back.”

This article reminds me of my mother, because she never really celebrated Valentine’s Day after she got divorced from my dad. I remembered coming home from school on Valentine’s Day and I saw balloons and a card from my mom. Even when she was still with my dad, she made Valentine’s Day a family event because she thought it would be selfish not to. For her, family is number one and she doesn’t let any man get in the way of it because she loves us so much.

Hopefully this article helps out anyone who might not be going on a date for Valentine’s Day, because there are many other ways to find happiness and love this day by just hanging out with friends and family.<3

http://www.upshiftcoaching.com/articles/9_valentines-day-love-is-not-just-for-couples.html

My mom and dad back in the old days :)
My mom and dad back in the old days 🙂